Get out on the highway, headin' down it my way
Passin' everything in sight
I push it to the max, gettin' ready to relax
Cos it's gonna be a Saturday night
I know a place just over the hill
If you wanna have a good time, you will
Way down South
Just across the border
Way down South
Don't need no law and order
Once you get down there, then you'll know
Way down South is the way to go
You can have the fast lane
I don't want the stress and strain
Gonna leave it all behind
You get a little lazy
Act a little crazy
Ain't nobody goin' to mind
Don't need a lot of cash or a flashy car
Folks better take you just the way you are
Way down South
Just across the border
Way down South
Once you get down there, then you'll see
Ain't nothin' like Southern hospitality
Way down South
Almost to the border
Way down South
She knows more than Momma taught her
All the way from Nashville to New Orleans
We got cheap-talkin' belles and delta queens
Way down South
Almost to the border
Way down South
Don't need no law and order
Once you get down there, then you'll see
Ain't nothin' like Southern hospitality
- Here's some for 37 cents. - Here's some for 32.
31.
- That's it. Don't they have any generics? - I think this is the generic.
I never heard of that brand. Maybe we should get this.
You're paying for advertising.
- Tuna. We should get tuna. - Please, no more tuna.
- It's got protein. We need protein. - Beans are protein.
- Beans make you fart. - We got a convertible.
I'm gettin' it for myself.
One burrito and one large Slush.
- 21 dollars and 67 cents. - Can you fill this up?
21.67.
Jesus! Look, I forgot to pay for this.
You could have gotten caught. What if somebody saw?
You know what the minimum age for execution is in Alabama?
- About sixteen? - Ten.
- There's a cop behind us. - A cop?
- There's nothing to worry about, all right? - There might be.
Just relax. Please.
- Is he still there? - Yeah.
- Goddamn it! - Calm down, all right?
There's a cop behind us, that's all. There's no problem.
- Uh-oh. - What?
- His light's on. - Fuck! Fuck! Goddamn it.
- What are we gonna do? - It's probably nothing. It might be a taillight.
- We don't have any money for bail! - Bail? Nothing's happened.
- Nothing? You stole something, didn't you? - Shut up. All right?
All right. Here he comes.
- Show me your hands! - Jesus.
Show me your hands. Get 'em up!
Get 'em up! Up!
Now put your hands on top of your head and get outta the car.
- Outta the car! - Go.
Yeah, I'm sure of it. It's number three and five.
Ridiculous. All this over a can of tuna.
Keep quiet!
Yeah. Uh-huh. You sure about that?
Yeah. He's standing right here.
All right. Bye.
I think we may get a confession.
- I just heard someone shot Jimmy Willis. - He's dead.
Oh, my God! Who would do such a thing?
- Hello, Bill. I'm Sheriff Farley. - Hi.
- Do you know why you're here? - Yeah, I do. I'm sorry.
It was a stupid thing to do.
- Have you been made aware of your rights? - Yes.
- You're willing to waive that right? - I'll cooperate fully.
I'll sign a statement, or whatever makes this whole thing easier.
Good. Good. That's good.
But I want you to know, Stan, he had nothing to do with it.
Did he help you plan it?
No. I mean... I mean, it wasn't planned out.
You know, it just happened.
Did Stan try to stop you at any time?
No. I mean, he was...
- Is that a big deal? - Aidin' and abettin'.
- Aiding and abetting? Is that a major thing? - Oh, yeah. Yeah!
An accessory? Are you guys kiddin'? An accessory?
I didn't help. I didn't plan it.
You didn't try to stop it.
I didn't know it was happening. I found out later in the car.
Why didn't you get out, call the police then?
He's my friend.
Well!
Your friend has put you in a lot of trouble.
What's gonna happen to Bill?
Nothing. Unless he's convicted.
If he is, we're gonna run enough electricity through him to light up Birmingham.
We were friends at NYU, and we both applied and we got scholarships to UCLA.
So we figured the scenery would be nicer going through the South.
- What about the tuna fish? - I forgot about the tuna fish.
And then we left.
Did he catch you with the tuna fish? Is that how it started?
- No, he didn't say anything. - But he knew about it.
I don't know.
Let's talk about that for a moment.
You paid for the groceries.
- And then what? - We went out to the car, and that's it.
When'd you shoot him?
- What? - At what point did you shoot the clerk?
- I shot the clerk? - Yes. When did you shoot him?
- I shot the clerk? - Hey, we need ya out here.
I'm in the middle of a damn confession here!
Whoa! Wait a minute!
- What's the matter? - Do you know what this is all about?
- Yeah, they're fucking with us. - You don't believe them?
- They don't execute for shoplifting. - You think we're being booked for shoplifting?
No. You're being booked for shoplifting. I'm being booked for accessory to shoplifting.
No, Stan. I'm being booked for murder and you're being booked for accessory to murder.
It's time to make your phone calls.
- Goddamn it! - Could you contact your parents?
How? Call the Chilean consulate? What can they do?
Send a guide into the mountains looking for them?
We need to call an attorney. A great attorney.
Do you know any great attorneys?
No. I'm calling my mother.
Hello, Ma. We're in Wazoo.
It's in Beechum County, Alabama, Ma.
Not too good, Ma. We... we've been arrested.
Ma. Ma, please. Ma, please. First of all, we didn't do it, all right?
Murder.
Ma. Ma, ple...! Ma, it's a mistake.
We must look like the guys who did it.
- Tell her what we think is happening... - Shut up.
We think they're trying to set us up as patsies. You know how corrupt it is here.
The Klan's here, they're inbred, they sleep with their sisters.
- Some of them do. - All right, Ma, listen.
We gotta get an attorney, and it's gonna cost a lot of money.
- How much would an attorney cost? - A decent one? $50,000. $100,000.
50,000. 100,000... I know, Ma. I know.
- Can we use any attorney? - I think so.
He says he thinks so.
Oh, he is?
Well, that's a great idea. You think he'll do it?
- We got an attorney in the family. - Who?
My cousin Vinny.
What is that?
Where's he from?
- What? - You stick out like a sore thumb around here.
- Me? What about you? - I fit in better than you.
- At least I'm wearin' cowboy boots. - Oh, yeah. You blend
I bet the Chinese food here is terrible.
- I don't see anything. - The wheels went out of balance...
- .. right after we hit that mud. - No, that's not it.
I think you should put it on a rack and take a look.
What's wrong?
- What? - What's the problem?
The car was shimmying on the highway.
- You got mud in your tires. - I got mud in my tires?
Let me ask you, how do you get mud into the tires?
That's a figure of speech. The mud gets around the inside of the wheel.
- Throws the balance off. - Did you ever hear that? Mud in the tires?
No.
She never heard it. She knows everything about cars.
See, down here, everybody gets stuck in the mud every now and then.
- Yeah. We're famous for our mud. - Famous for your mud?
How's your Chinese food?
You keep on askin' about that. Can't you tell they don't have Chinese restaurants?
Gotta let everybody know you're a tourist. Come on.
What're you, a fuckin' world traveller
Our jail was condemned this morning.
That's why we bringin' you all out to the state corrections facility.
Unlock the gate!
Go on through.
- Do you know what happens in these places? - Yeah, I know what happens.
There's often a big guy named Bubba no one will tangle with.
He'll protect you - if you become his sex slave and do whatever he wants.
There's only the two of us here.
What about those cots? What if they put somebody else in here?
Stan.
- Shut up. - OK.
I can't believe my luck!
Here.
We got somebody for you.
You must be Stan. How you doin'?
Why'd they bring you in here?
I just got in. I asked for the new guys and they brought me here.
Hey, he's sleepin', huh? Cute little guy.
You know, maybe I'll just start with you. Let him sleep a little bit.
- Look, I don't wanna do this. - Hey, I don't blame you.
If I was in your situation, I'd wanna get through this whole thing...
.. as quickly and with as little pain as possible.
So let's try our best to make it a simple in-and-out procedure.
What's the matter?
Relax, relax. Relax.
Maybe we should spend a couple of minutes together.
You know, to get acquainted before we, uh... you know, before we get to it.
- What's wrong with you? - I don't wanna do this.
I understand, but what are your alternatives?
My alternatives? To what? To you?
I dunno. Suicide. Death.
Look, it's either me or them. You're gettin' fucked, one way or the other.
Hey, hey, hey.
Lighten up, OK? Don't worry, I'm gonna help you.
Gee, thanks.
Excuse me, but I think a modicum of gratitude would not be outta line here.
- You think I should be grateful? - Yeah. I mean it's your ass, not mine.
I think you should be grateful. I think you should be down on your fuckin' knees.
I didn't know your visit was such an honour.
I'm doin' a favour. You're gettin' me for nothin', you little fuck.
Boy, that's one hell of an ego you've got.
What the fuck is your problem?
- I did not come here just to get jerked off. - No. No, no.
I'm not jerking you off. I'm not doing anything.
You're on your own. I'm just takin' care of Sleeping Beauty.
- Hey! Billy. - Back off.
- Vinny! Hey, Vinny! - Vinny?
- Vinny Bag o' Donuts! How are you? - This is Vinny?
I don't know where to start.
Have you had any murder cases before?
- None. This'll be my first. - Your first?
Yeah.
What kind of cases have you had? Assault and battery? Armed robbery?
No.
Well, I expect he's done burglary, grand theft auto, drugs.
No. Nothin' like that either.
What kind... what kind of law do you practice?
Well, up till now, uh... personal injury.
Well... you're a trial attorney, right? I mean, personal injury trials.
Well, actually, this'll be my first foray into the trial process.
I haven't had to go to court yet. Knock on wood.
You haven't had to go to court yet.
- How long you been practicing? - Almost six weeks.
But...
You graduated six years ago. What have you been doin'?
Studyin', for the bar.
- Six years? - Mm-hm.
- That's a lot of studying. - Well, to be honest with you,...
.. I, uh... I didn't pass my first time out.
- That's OK. You passed the second time? - I'm afraid not.
- Three times a charm? - Not for me it isn't.
No. For me, six times was a charm.
Six times.
- A little informal, aren't we? - I was resting...
- Not wearing a coat or tie. - Oh. Sorry.
Well, approving an attorney from out of state is a pretty informal matter.
- I just have a few questions. - OK. Fire away, Judge.
- Where'd you go to law school? - Brooklyn Academy of Law.
- Is that an accredited law school? - Uh...
Oh. Yes.
- How long you been practicing? - Ooh, about six, uh...
Almost sixteen years.
- Any murder cases? - Quite a few. Yes.
What was the outcome?
Um, you know. Win some, lose some.
This is not the forum to be cavalier.
Oh, of course. Now, let me see.
Most recently, I had a axe murder...
.. which I won, on the grounds of temporary insanity.
- Wanna hear the facts of the case? - No.
- What else? - Let me see. What else?
You ever heard of the Son of Sam?
The fella who received orders to kill from a dog?
- That one. - You defended him?
Well, no, not exactly. I defended the first guy they arrested.
And, uh, he was found innocent and set free...
.. and, uh... they caught the real guy.
Well.
We don't have any serial killers in Beechum County.
What we do have is as sophisticated a justice system as they do in the rest of the country.
- I'm sure. - You being from New York an' all...
.. might have the impression that law is practiced with a degree of informality here.
- It isn't. - Right.
I tell you this because I want you to know that when it comes to procedure,...
.. I'm not a patient man.
Sir, when you come into my courtroom, you ought to know the letter of the law.
- I'll react harshly when you don't. - You should.
Being from New York won't get you special treatment.
It shouldn't.
You won't. You'll be given no leeway whatsoever.
I expect you to know this information when you come into my courtroom.
Right.
- You willing to accept those terms? - Right. No problem.
Just this?
This is gonna be great. Vinny's first case.
So? What can I do to help?
- Nothin'? - No.
What the fuck is that?
Wanna sit at the counter?
Hey. How ya doin'?
Listen, what's the story with this incredibly, remarkably loud whistle...
.. at 5.30 in the morning?
It's the steam whistle.
Over at the sawmill.
Tell folks it's time to get up.
You can hear it for miles.
- Y'all want somethin'? - Yeah.
- Breakfast? - You think?
Good choice. Two.
Excuse me.
You guys down here hear about the ongoing cholesterol problem in the country?
- What's this over here? - You never heard of grits?
Sure. Sure, I heard of grits.
I just actually never seen a grit before.
- Honey, you gonna try it? - You first.
- What is a grit, anyways? - It's made out of corn.
- Them hominy grits. - Hominy.
Hm.
- How d'you cook it? - Simmer it in water for 15 or 20 minutes,...
.. put it on the plate and add butter.
So? You gonna eat it or not?
Here?
- Is your attorney here? - I am the attorney.
Oh. Jim Trotter the Third. District attorney of Beechum County.
Vincent La Guardia Gambini. First. Brooklyn.
Nice to see you.
Yeah.
- Vinny. - Hey.
All rise for His Honour Judge Chamberlain Haller.
The court of Beechum County is now in session.
Be seated.
First case. The people of the State of Alabama versus William Robert Gambini...
.. and Stanley Marcus Rothenstein.
- "Steen. " She called me "Stine". - Just...
Counselor, your clients are charged with first-degree murder. How do they plead?
- Your Honour, my clients... - Don't talk to me sitting in that chair.
- But he told me to sit here. - When you address this court, you will rise...
.. and speak to me in a clear, intelligible voice.
- Sorry. My clients... - What are you wearin'?
Huh?
- What are you wearin'? - I'm, uh, wearin', uh... clothes.
I don't get the question.
When you come into my court looking like you do,...
.. you not only insult me, but you insult the integrity of this court.
I apologize, sir, but this is how I dress.
Next time you come into my courtroom, you will look lawyer-ly.
I mean, you comb your hair and wear a suit and tie.
And that suit better be made outta some kind of... cloth.
- You understand me? - Uh, yes. Fine, Judge. Fine.
Good. You may continue. How do your clients plead?
My clients are caught completely by surprise.
They thought they were getting arrested for shoplifting a can of tuna.
What are you telling me? That they plead not guilty?
- No. I'm just trying to explain. - I don't wanna hear explanations.
The State of Alabama has its procedure.
And that procedure, at this point in time, is to have an arraignment. Are we clear on this?
Yes. But there seems to be a great deal of confusion here.
- Mr Gambini. - You see, my clients...
Uh, Mr Gambini.
All the way?
All I ask from you is a very simple answer to a very simple question.
There are only two ways to answer: "guilty" or "not guilty".
But my clients didn't do anything.
Once again, the communication process has broken down.
It appears to me that you want to skip the arraignment process,...
.. go directly to trial, skip that, and get a dismissal.
Well, I'm not about to revamp the entire judicial process...
.. just because you find yourself in the unique position...
.. of defending clients who say they didn't do it.
Now... the next words out of your mouth are either gonna be "guilty" or "not guilty".
I don't wanna hear commentary, argument or opinion.
If I hear anything other than "guilty" or "not guilty",...
.. you'll be in contempt.
I don't even wanna hear you clear your throat.
I hope I've been clear.
Now... how do your clients plead?
I think I get the point.
No. I don't think you do.
You're now in contempt of court.
- Will you go for two counts of contempt? - Not guilty.
Thank you.
Bail will be set at $200,000.
Preliminary hearing will be set for 9:30am tomorrow morning.
Bailiff, please take Mr Gambini into custody. His bail will be set at $200.
Come with me, please.
All rise as the judge leaves.
You have to bail me out. You know that, right?
Let's go.
They're gonna nuke this guy Norton this weekend.
Looks like it.
You got one huge responsibility, taking on this murder case.
You screw up and those boys get fried.
I know.
- So you think you know what you're doin'? - Yeah, I think I know what I'm doin'.
You didn't look like you knew what you were doin' today in that courtroom. Why is that?
Well, it's a lot of procedure, that's all. I'll learn it as I go.
- Learn as you go? - Yeah, yeah.
- Didn't they teach that in law school? - No, they didn't.
They teach you contracts, precedence, interpretations.
Then the firm that hires you, they teach you procedures.
- Or you can go to court and watch. - So why don't you go to court and watch?
Because, between your father's garage and working nights, when was I supposed to go?
I thought this summer I would take off a couple of months.
But it ain't no big deal.
- Are you sure? - Yes, I'm sure.
How can you be so sure when you don't know what it is you're supposed to know?
It's a procedure. Like rebuilding a carburetor has a procedure.
You know how the first thing you do is you take the carburetor off the manifold?
Suppose you skip the first step, and as you're replacing one of the jets, you drop the jet.
It goes down, rolls along the manifold and into the head. You're fucked.
You've learned the hard way that you gotta remove the carburetor first.
That's what happened to me today. I learned the hard way.
Actually, it was a good learning experience for me.
All right. Well, is there any way I could help out in this procedure situation?
Yeah. Keep bailing me out.
We can't afford to keep bailing you out. I've cashed in half the traveler’s checks.
I didn't wanna cash 'em in, but I didn't wanna bounce a check.
I tried hustling the money, but I got stiffed, so I cashed...
Whoa, whoa. What do you mean, you got stiffed? Did you say you got stiffed?
Hey. Vincent La Guardia Gambini.
- His name's JT. - JT.
I believe you and Lisa played a game of pool for $200, which she won.
I'm here to collect.
- How about if I just kick your ass? - Oh, a counteroffer?
That's what we lawyers - I'm a lawyer - we lawyers call that a "counteroffer".
Let me see. This is a tough decision.
Get my ass kicked or collect $200?
Hm. What do you think?
I could use a good ass kicking, I'll be very honest with you.
Nah, I think I'll just go with the 200.
Over my dead body.
You like to renegotiate as you go along, huh?
OK, then. Here's my counteroffer.
Do I have to kill you? What if I was just to kick the everlovin' shit outta you?
- In your dreams. - No, no, no. In reality.
If I was to kick the shit outta you, do I get the money?
- If you kicked the shit outta me? - Yeah.
Yeah, then you get the money.
- What happened? Rear-ended? - No, I fell.
Oh.
OK. Let's see if we agree on the terms.
The choice now is I get my ass kicked...
.. or, option B, I kick your ass and collect the 200.
I'm going with option B. Kicking your ass and collecting $200.
- Are we gonna fight now? - Yeah. First, let me see the money.
- I have the money. - All right. Let me see it. Show it to me.
- I can get it. - You can get it?
All right. Get it.
And then we'll fight.
You fell in your place or somebody else's?
- My place. - Shit.
He blew the arraignment! It's a simple procedure.
You heard the judge. All he had to do was say "guilty" or "not guilty".
So? What are you saying?
What am I saying? You saw what happened in there. You wanna stay with him after that?
Shit, Stan. I don't wanna fire him.
He's family. And my mother, the way her health is right now...
I appreciate that. But should you die for that?
Wouldn't your mother be more upset if you die?
The thing is, given the chance, I think he could do a good job.
- No, you're wrong. - Come on, fellas, knock it off. Let's go.
Stan, listen. You have to see the Gambinis in action.
These people, they love to argue. I mean, they live to argue.
My parents argue, too - that doesn't make them lawyers.
Stan, I've seen your parents argue. Trust me, they're amateurs.
Is that a drip I hear?
Yeah.
Weren't you the last one to use the bathroom?
So?
- Did you use the faucet? - Yeah.
- Then why didn't you turn it off? - I did turn it off.
Well, if you turned it off, why am I listening to it?
Did it occur to you it could be turned off and drip at the same time?
No. If you turned it off, it wouldn't drip.
- Maybe it's broken. - Is that what you're saying? It's broken?
Yeah, that's it. It's broken.
- You sure? - I'm positive.
- Maybe you didn't twist it hard enough? - I twisted it just right.
How could you be so sure?
If you will look in the manual, you will see that this particular model faucet...
.. requires a range of 10 to 16 foot-pounds of torque.
I routinely twist to maximum-allowable torquage.
How could you be sure you used 16 foot-pounds of torque?
Because I used a Craftsman model 1019 laboratory edition...
.. Signature Series torque wrench.
The kind used by Caltech high-energy physicists...
.. and NASA engineers.
Well, in that case, how could you be sure that's accurate?
Because a split second before the torque wrench was applied to the faucet handle,...
.. it had been calibrated by top members...
.. of the state and federal department of weights and measures...
.. to be dead-on balls accurate.
Here's a certificate of validation.
Dead-on balls accurate?
It's an industry term.
I guess the fucking thing is broken.
We gotta move.
Then I heard two loud bangs, like firecrackers.
I looked up and saw two young men run out from the Sac-o-Suds...
.. and jump into a green car with a white convertible top,...
.. and drive off like the dickens.
Miss Riley, are those two young men present in the courtroom?
- Yes, sir. They are. - Could you point 'em out for me, please?
They sittin' right there.
Mm-hm. Now, uh... Mrs Riley, is this the car?
- Yes, sir. It is. - Thank you, ma'am.
Let the records show Mrs Constance Riley identified the defendants' car.
I was makin' my breakfast.
I saw them two boys go into the store.
Then later I heard a gunshot.
Looked out the window.
They were running out. Got into the car and drove off.
Is this the car?
Yes. It is.
Thank you, sir.
Then you saw those two boys run out o' the Sac-o-Suds, jump in this car and take off?
Yeah. They peeled away. Car was all over the road.
Thank you, sir.
I asked him if he did it, and he said "I shot the clerk. "
I asked him again, and again he said "I shot the clerk. "
Your Honour, no further questions.
- Mr Gambini. - Yes.
- Do you have anything to add? - Thing? What thing?
Not for me to say.
No, sir.
You can stand down.
- Do you have any other witnesses? - No, Your Honour.
The court finds sufficient evidence exists for this matter to go to trial.
I'm setting this matter for trial this Monday, February 2, 10am.
Mr Gambini.
Stand up.
Now, didn't I tell you next time you appear in my courtroom that you dress appropriately?
You were serious about that?
- Why didn't you ask them any questions? - Questions? Ask who questions?
You knew you could ask questions. Didn't you, Vin?
If you'd put up a fight, you could have gotten the case thrown out.
Hey, Stan. You're in Ala-fuckin'- bama.
You come from New York. You killed a good old boy.
There is no way this is not going to trial.
What the fuck is goin' on here, Vinny? You fuckin' up this case or what?
I told you. It's just procedure. I'm bound to fuck up a little.
A little? You got thrown in jail! Twice.
Hey. I know I was in jail. I don't need you to point it out to me, OK?
You're my fiancée. You're supposed to stand by your man.
You know, encourage me a little bit. A little encouragement.
Is that what you want? I'm sorry. You were wonderful in there.
The way you handled that judge... Ohh, you're a smooth talker. You are!
All right, knock it off. Knock it off.
Do you think I like fuckin' up? Is that it?
You raggin' on me is not gonna give me any great spontaneous knowledge.
- Yeah? - So shut it.
- You done readin'? - Yeah.
Do you wanna go to bed?
I don't know. I don't feel good.
You shouldn't feel good. You haven't slept much in three days.
That's part of it. You know what it is?
I'm... I'm really scared.
You should be.
How the fuck did I get into this shit?
"Oh, sure. No problem. I could win the case. "
I already got myself sent to jail twice.
I could win this thing, though. I know I could.
If I could keep my ass awake and outta jail long enough, betcha I could, huh?
You know what I think? Honestly?
I think that once you're out there and you're doin' your thing,...
.. I think you're gonna be really great.
Really great.
If...
.. you don't fuck up.
If this was a conspiracy, they'd have to get all those people to lie.
Do you think that's what's happening?
Look, I think we should meet with the public defender. See what he's like.
If he's honest, then we should go with him.
All right.
- That's death row in there. - It is?
The chair ain't working like it used to.
The guy we fried last week - took us three attempts and his head caught fire.
See, there's no money in the budget to get it looked at.
I say it'd be cheaper to get it fixed than keeping running up them extra electric bills.
Hi, Stanley.
My name is John Gibbons...
.. and I'm an attorney in the public defender's office.
- Hi, John. - Hey.
Now, the evidence against you is pretty strong, so, um,...
.. why don't you just tell me your side of the story?
- Hey, Vin. - Hey, Billy.
How are ya?
- How do you feel? OK? - All right.
- Where's Stan? - Uh, Stan, he's not comin'.
He's, um...
Well, he wants to go with the public defender.
Listen, Vin...
I'm going with the public defender, too.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I just didn't know what little experience you have with this.
- What, are you scared? - Yeah, I'm scared.
Maybe I could have handled the preliminary a little better.
But what's most important is winning the case.
I could do it. I really could.
Let me tell you how, OK?
The DA's gotta build a case. Building a case is like building a house.
Each piece of evidence is a building block.
He wants to make a brick bunker of a building.
He wants to use serious, solid-looking bricks, like these, right?
- Right. - Let me show you something.
He's gonna show you the bricks. He'll show you they got straight sides.
He'll show you how they got the right shape.
He'll show them to you in a very special way...
.. so that they appear to have everything a brick should have.
But there's one thing he's not gonna show you.
When you look at the bricks at the right angle, they're as thin as this playing card.
His whole case is an illusion, a magic trick.
It has to be an illusion, cos you're innocent.
Nobody, I mean nobody, pulls the wool over the eyes of a Gambini. Especially this one.
Give me the chance. One chance.
Let me question the first witness.
If, after that point, you don't think that I'm the best man for the job, fire me then and there.
I'll leave quietly. No grudges.
All I ask is for that one chance.
I think you should give it to me.
You should give it to him? What was he before he was a lawyer? A fuckin' comedian?
If he doesn't ask the right questions, your lawyer will.
No, he can still fuck things up.
Cross-examination is about knowing what to say and what not to say.
Let's say he asks all the possible questions, and the witness has all the answers.
He ends up proving the prosecution's case!
How did he ever talk you into it?
At my cousin Ruthie's wedding, the groom's brother was that guy Ali Kazam.
- You know who I'm talkin' about? - The magician with the ponytail?
Right. He did his act, and every time he made something disappear, Vinny jumped on him.
He nailed him. It was like "It's in his pocket" or "He's palming it. "
Or "There's a mirror under the table. "
He was like "Wait. It's joined in the middle and there's a spring around it. "
"It pops it open when it's inside the tube. "
It was like Ali Kazam's worst nightmare.
But he was just being Vinny.
He was just being the quintessential Gambini.
There goes the quintessential Norton.
Lookee here, JT.
Hey, hey, little Yankee boy. Look here what I got.
- What is it? - $200.
Bring it here. Let me see it.
Hm.
How do I know that's not a bunch of ones with a 20 wrapped around it?
- It's 200 bucks. - Fan it out. Show it to me.
Yeah, right.
Does that freight train come through at 5am every morning?
No, sir. It's very unusual.
OK.
I was making a lot of money, winning most of my cases.
Thank you, Shirley.
But my clients were guilty as hell.
Finally, after getting this fella off some serious charges for the fourth time,...
.. I tell you the truth, my conscience got to me.
I'd be serving justice more by putting the guilty in jail.
That's what I've been doing and... I'm a happier man for it.
- How about you? - Well, I got a bullshit traffic ticket.
In court, I got the cop on the stand...
.. and argued with him until he admitted he was wrong.
And, uh,...
.. the judge, this Judge Malloy,...
.. all the while, he's laughing and smiling,...
.. and then, afterwards, he asked me to go to lunch with him.
Then he says to me "You know what? You'd be a good litigator. "
I don't know what the hell he was talking about. I don't know what a litigator is.
I never thought of becoming a lawyer. But Judge Malloy was from Brooklyn, too.
I mean, he did it. So all of a sudden it seemed possible.
So I went to law school.
Then from time to time, he would come by, see how I was doin', if I needed anything.
He was a nice man.
I mean, to go out of his way like that for me, you know?
He wanted his son to follow in his footsteps, but he became a musician or something.
I remember when I graduated, he was so proud of me.
That's quite a story.
Yeah.
- We got some case ahead of us here, huh? - Oh, yeah.
- How do you feel about it? - Oh, well, I...
I'd like to have a murder weapon.
But, other than that, I feel pretty good.
- You do? - Oh, yeah.
What you doin' this afternoon?
- You're goin' hunting? - That's right.
Why are you goin' hunting? Shouldn't you be preparing for court?
I was thinkin' last night "If only I knew what he knows. " You know?
If he'd let me look at his files. Oh, boy!
I don't get it. What does getting to Trotter's files have to do with hunting?
Well, you know. Two guys out in the woods, guns, on the hunt.
It's a bonding thing, you know. Show him I'm one of the boys.